It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize