i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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