I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
You took a bar mat shot.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
