dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
