Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
