my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
