Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
