no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
