I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
