I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
sex in a hospital.. check
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
