Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Randomize