We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
