Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
