She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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