No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
