So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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