Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
my phone needs a breathalizer
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
