You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
