Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
