if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Four minutes until I can fart!
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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