is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Randomize
