one two three fourrrrnication!
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
