Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
