my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
