you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
