I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
