I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
