when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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