this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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