I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
