Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
