dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
