Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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