she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
