so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
