your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
