Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
You dont lie about slip and slides
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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