I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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