Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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