Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
