Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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