Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize