I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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