sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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