I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize