she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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