my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
