tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
