normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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