you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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