he wants to bone in the snuggie
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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