Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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