Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I am never drinking with the goths again.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize