haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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