wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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