Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
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