Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
