How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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