One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize