3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
The beer is more important than you right now.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
