____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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