Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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