and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
