as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
