Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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