Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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