I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
