The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
