is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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