DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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