Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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