Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
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