well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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